Kodder's World

Simplified List

Job, Money, Gym, Kendo, Guitar, Motorcycle, Resolve.

I met the stupidest man alive.

When I looked in the mirror.

…

he is back with a vengeance…

Lucky guy

You know when you think that something is amazing, the best thing you could ever have, the most desirable thing ever and it doesn’t work out; you get depressed, sad and angry and then some months later something happens and realise that the thing never working for you was the best thing ever happened to you because it would have made your life miserable.

I am one heck of a lucky guy!

List

Politics,Economics,Finance, Poker, Guitar, Drawing, Wine, Whiskey,Art, Debate, Spirituality, Law, Mechanics, Luxury,Gastronomy, Defense, Negotiating,Hunting,Riding,Culture, History,Medicine,Literature.

Delusions

I have been delusional for some years now, reading into things incorrectly, convincing myself to disregard the obvious, brainwashing myself into turning a probably of 0.1 to 1 just because of 1 single factor out of few hundreds.

Delusions is one of the main problems of an over thinker, the though goes back and forth tens of times more than it should, it grows bigger and bigger,  I ask myself questions and answer them, then question the answers and answer them back. Totally unhealthy. Overthinking, bah! maybe I need a lobotomy…

I am stronger than I thought…

Moving on…

Went in again…

The gates are still open, I promised you that I will be back and here I am.I didn’t close them on purpose, I knew I needed to face you one last time, I knew I needed to destroy you completely before I move on, and here I am. My body and mind are healing, I cannot feel the sting of your flames anymore, I am laughing at you.

I am urging the flames to go hotter, higher, and more intense, you look perplexed, you think I am doing you a favor, you idiot! I am just burning your oxygen; your flames , your hell, your demons, and your  disgusting soul are going to disappear in a smokey poof.

what if…

What if the best thing you ever written will never reach its destination…

Brain wins

hmm…

you aren’t working either, time to kill you too!

Todo List 28/08/08 to 28/09/08 (update)

1)get back to the gym   (done).

2)get back to judo  (In a few hours)

3)get back to trekking (27 september)

4)enroll back to driving lessons

5)enroll in motorcycle riding lessons

6) get back to the the guitar (done)

7)get back  to drawing

8)do my exams. ( done)

9)book LPI exams

10) Find a damn job (Interview on the 30th)

thought…

I am too logical, too perceptive, too analytical for my own good…

Cryptic again…

I read 2 words and I feel relaxed, add the 3rd in the middle I feel powerful, translate them and fill in the blanks and I just feel poetic…

Closer…

I can come very close but then I will be very far…

Lesson of the Day

Don’t be walking following 2 guys into a dark alley in the middle of no where.

they would keep looking at you scared that you would mug them…

My mistake…

… was going to Lebanon in July.

But the true mistake, was not saying anything in March…

I know you are there, but you are in my world now…

Fake

I am a Biker without a Bike

I am a Geek without Unix

I am a Kinkster without a Girlfriend

I am a Hiker without Boots

I am a Musician without Notes

I am a Racer without Speed

I am  Sailor without a Boat

But…